My friendship-wedding analogy

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What is a “friend”?

I’ve been pondering this question a lot lately. I’ve had groups of friends from high school, college, internships, and jobs.  Obviously some are closer than others and it’s led me to think…how do people categorize their friends? What exactly is a friend?

I feel like being a friend to someone requires certain things.. That there is an unwritten “job description” when it comes to friendships that some people choose to follow and some people completely disregard.

For starters, I’ve always been a believer of two-way roads.  I don’t care if it is a friend, a family member, or a signifcant other, the relationship WILL NOT work if one person is doing all the work.  This is a legitimate pet peeve of mine.  It shouldn’t be up to one person to always make the plans or to always do the talking.

Quite frankly, what these people are saying is that they do not care.  If you don’t care about our friendship, why should I?  You’re not some celebrity I’m following around.  You are were my friend.

Another bullet point on the job description of friendship?  Um, I don’t know… talking? sharing news?  I’m not okay with texting someone who I consider a good friend and want to catch up with and getting a response like, “Oh, I’m good. Keeping busy. You?”  I will not respond to messages like that because that wasn’t a valid answer. Everyone is busy, ok? This is the United States of America.

Oh hey, I know this is 2012 and everything but DO NOT “tell” your friends important updates in your life by a general status update.  Let all of your best friends and family know through a text or phone call that you are pregnant, engaged, got a new job, etc.  I’ve had this happen to me so many times and my friends will tell me, “Oh it was just easier to tell everyone all at once.”  Yes, it is easier.  And so is no longer being your friend.  See ya.

I recently had breakfast with one of my good guy friends from college and he told me how it really bothers him when his “friends” happen to be in the area that he currently lives, they know he lives there, and don’t even bother to let him know.  I  feel ya on that one. 100 %

Another thing that bothers me is when a “friend” bails on you 80% of the time.  It’s always a new excuse. Something came up, they have a sudden urgent appointment for no reason,  someone better offered to hang out with them, blah, blah.. seriously, if you don’t want to hang out, JUST TELL ME AND SAVE ME THE TIME AND EXCITEMENT.

Speaking of, don’t act like your friends are a burden.  Seriously.  “Oh, um, I have something to do and then something else to do later.  How about we get lunch from 1230-145?”  Excuse me? I’m not an appointment and I won’t tolerate being treated like one.  Respect is all I’m asking for.

I don’t know about you, but when I think about my eh-friends, my good friends, and my best friends, I always think about my wedding.  I’ll be getting married in the next couple years so something that is on my mind a lot is my wedding.  Who will we invite? Who will my bridesmaids be? Maid-of-Honor?

Here’s how I break it down:

My maid-of-honor is going to be the person that I absolutely 100% cannot live without. She’s always there for me no matter what time of day, doesn’t bail, doesn’t judge, and I’d do anything for her in return.  My bridesmaids will be the girls that are my best friends.  These are the ones that I would trust with any secret, the ones I share good news with, bad news with, the ones that I can count on.  All of my other friends will be invited to my wedding.  And the people who aren’t invited?  Those are the ones I consider acquaintences.  The people I’ve met and even talk to on a daily basis but don’t necessarily delve deep into my life story with me.  I was just telling Adam today that I think a good rule for our wedding too should be no one is invited who doesn’t know both of us.  All of my good friends and close family members have met him and same goes for his side.  Why would we invite distant relatives or long-lost friends to our wedding who we have to explain how we met, who we are, what we plan to do with our lives, and so on.?  That’s not the point of a wedding. The point is to have those we love most and those that love us celebrate the day with us and be excited because they know how much we’ve been through.

I’m constantly changing my future wedding party around and bumping people from my bridesmaids list. Especially lately.  It may seem silly to some, but to me, that is really the true judge of how much a person means to me.  Friends are a big deal. I don’t take these things lightly (as you can see) and I want to be sure that the people I’m surrounded with are genuine.  If we’ve recently stopped talking and you’re just finishing up reading this post, maybe you can see why we’re not friends anymore?

If we’re not friends to begin with and you are currently doing some of these things to your friends, quit the habits soon, or the friends will quit you. Guaranteed.

That’s all my rambling for today. Thought this was going to be a short post but it turns out I had more to say. What else is new….

Peace!

Hire me… please?

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The job search is such a strange thing.  Really.  You design your resume, update it whenever something changes, search job sites on a daily basis, write cover letters for the jobs you see as a fit for you, send them out as soon as you can to make sure they don’t hire someone else first…. and then…. ??

That’s the thing that is so frustrating about the job search.. It seems to be a black hole sometimes. You never know if people on the other end get your resume…if they get it, do they read it?  If they read it, do they care?

And don’t tell me to follow up.  I do.  I follow up all the time to these companies that I have sent my resume to.  I never hear back… I try calling, and I get voicemail. Next step- knock on their office doors?

I have so much passion and am ready to get into this crazy, amazing world of working and making things happen.  Other people in the field may be tired, just going through the motions.  I’m ready to come into the company and hit the ground running.  I want to show everyone how much I can do.

A random twitter follower recently tweeted to me that it doesn’t matter what I did in college- that I have no experience if I’m just coming out of college. I’m sorry sir, but I strongly disagree.  I have had so many internships that have taught me more than some people 15+ years in the field know.  I made history at my university- I became the first student to ever win two Associated Press awards.

How many other students can say that?

I’m sorry if this is sounding like I’m conceited. It’s not intended to. I just really believe in myself and the things that I’ve done and can do.  And I don’t understand why companies can’t see that.

Any advice from those of you out in the field?  What can I do differently?   Start knocking on people’s doors?  And that’s the thing too- I’m not desperate for a JOB- I have a full-time job now waitressing.  What I’m looking for is a career.  I’m not like many other students I just graduated with who are jumping at the first “job” they get offered because they want to brag about a full-time gig.  This is for me. I want to be happy doing what I love and bring to a company the passion, experience and energy that I own.

To the big, crazy world out there… send me your advice, positive thoughts, and job leads. I’d love for someone to finally recognize me for who I am, what I’ve done and what I can do for their company.

New Year, New Title

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The name of this blog was changed from ” The Rambling of a College Student” to “Kaleidoscope” in February 2012.  I was driving back home from my parents house and I discovered that that title would describe this blog as well as my life quite perfectly.

 

ka·lei·do·scope

noun /kəˈlīdəˌskōp/  kaleidoscopes, plural

  • A toy consisting of a tube containing mirrors and pieces of colored glass or paper, whose reflections produce changing patterns that are visible through an eyehole when the tube is rotated
  • A constantly changing pattern or sequence of objects or elements

I feel that throughout my life, I have evolved due to changing environments, various people I’ve come across, skills I have acquired, placed I have traveled to and things I have experienced.  None of these times, people or places were necessarily better than one another; just a change.  Beautiful colors mixing together and creating something amazing.

That is what this blog symbolizes. You won’t come here to read solely about my love for running, or for information about my personal life, or for my strong opinions on certain topics, or for my advice on things to and not to do in the real world.  However, you will come here to find it all.

My life has never been a bore.  And I intend to keep it that way.

Read on.

A Senior’s Final Farewell

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-Senior Farewell article:published in the Mount Union Dynamo, December 7, 2011-

Thinking back on my three and a half years at Mount Union, there is no possible way to pinpoint my one favorite memory or experience.  Be it cliché, but each and every person and experience I’ve encountered here has impacted my life in some way.

Coming in as a freshman to Mount Union College and graduating from the University of Mount Union, I have definitely seen major changes on campus, from building construction to curriculum alterations.

The communication department has made such a major impact on the person I am.  The professors are very personable and genuinely seem to care about their students progression in their careers.  I especially want to give a heartfelt thank you to Mark Bergmann, who was my professor, mentor and friend through my experience at Mount Union.  Due to his guidance and encouragement, I was able to achieve a school record and become the first person ever at Mount Union to win two Associated Press awards.

When I came here, I majored in communication because I wanted to be a TV news producer.  I got involved in Studio M, The Dynamo, and WRMU and soon changed my mind for my career path.  Now, I’m looking for a career in event planning, writing or public relations.

As a note to the underclassmen, take the time to get involved.  You have no idea how much the organizations on campus will help you in your future. It is so easy to get involved here and employers aren’t going to hire you if classes are the only thing on your resume.

One of my favorite things I did here was “Late Night Jams with Shan and Sam”.  It was a two-hour radio show on WRMU with my best friend and roommate, Samantha Severo.  We started it our freshman year and continued through senior year and it really allowed us to be ourselves, chat about entertainment and campus news on-air and play our favorite music for our listeners.

Homecoming events, especially the Mr. MUC pageant, will stick forever in my memory.  I was so honored this year to be chosen for homecoming court and that is also something I will never forget.

I also drooled over the food here and took advantage of late night snack freshman year, late night breakfast each semester near finals week and also the annual Thanksgiving dinner on campus.

Serving as the Assistant Editor of the Dynamo for the past year and a half and running the radio station as the Program Director this semester, I’ve learned so many things about writing, radio, editing, leadership, and myself.

I have truly loved all of the opportunities I’ve been presented with and I wouldn‘t trade these years for anything.  I’m extremely excited to see where the wind will take me next.  Just remember that everything happens for a reason so don‘t live with regrets.  Come what may. ❤

Top ten things not to do at a restaurant: from a server’s perspective

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October 25, 2011

I think it would be safe to make the assumption that mostly everyone has been to a restaurant at least once in their life.  Working in a restaurant as a server the past five years, I have had the opportunity to see an extremely colorful spectrum of humankind.

It seems that some people understand manners and certain rules that they you should abide by when dining out.  However, there are so many others that are constantly driving servers crazy around the world.

Aside from being a server, I have also been a customer to restaurants throughout my life and I have dined with some people who break these guidelines.  I cringe at the sight of them and usually try to make up for their misbehaviors.

I have put together a list of the most common behaviors I see at work on a daily basis that make me (and other servers I work with) want to scream.  We could probably have 200 items on the list, but let us just begin with the top ten.

1. Do not cut the server off.  This is probably the most common action I see that makes my blood boil.  When we greet your table to tell you the food and drink specials for the day, let us finish our sentences.  Even if you are not necessarily interested in the specials, listen.  It’s our job to tell you these things.  This has also happened to me when I greet a table and begin to introduce myself.  Please don’t just say “COFFEE!”  and ignore the fact that I was speaking.

2. Do not talk on the phone while at a restaurant.  Not only is this rude to the people who are at your table, but it is extremely rude to the server.  If I am waiting on a table and someone is on the phone, I will wait until they hang up until I go over to them.  We don’t deserve that.

3. Why do some people think it’s okay to get a server’s attention while he or she is talking to another table?  I’ve had this happen so many times in my serving career and I just don’t understand what is wrong with the customer’s brain.  Apart from looking like the rudest person in the world, this action also makes it seem like you think you’re more important than the customers the server is currently speaking with.

4. Do you like to be ignored?  Probably not.  Neither does your server.  If your server comes over to the table and asks if you are ready to order or is checking on how the food tastes, you don’t have to have a ten minute conversation, but at least have the decency to give the server an answer.

5. Please help your server out.  If you have a bunch of plates in front of you from salads and appetizers and the food is arriving, don’t just sit there.  Move your plates out of the way so they have somewhere to put your food and they will take those empty plates once they have a free hand.

6. Don’t leave pennies, nickels, quarters and dimes as the tip.  This is obviously a huge insult because your statement is that the server doesn’t even deserve a dollar.  Personally, I’d rather have change than no tip at all but it’s just annoying to carry all that change around because it’s heavy and it clinks around.

7. If something is wrong with your food or drink, tell the server right away.  It doesn’t make any sense to me why people eat half of their meal or even finish it and THEN decide to tell me that it wasn’t good or something was wrong with it.  I’m not going to be lenient with getting you a new meal or taking it off the bill after you just ate it.

8. If you go to the restaurant with a child and they are screaming or crying (or both), do not just sit there with your kid.  It makes the dining experience very uncomfortable and unpleasant for the rest of the customers.  Please leave the room to take the child outside or to the lobby until they can calm down.

9. I’m not sure why people think this okay either, but please never touch your server or hostess.  You don’t touch the cashier when you are at the grocery store so please refrain from this.

10. If you are dining at a restaurant where there is a bar, please do not go up to the bartender to get your drinks.  It’s not saving you any money and it is only going to create problems for the staff.  The server depends on food and drink sales for their tips and that is making their sales lower and making you look inconsiderate.

As I mentioned, there are people out there who can properly dine out without making anyone mad.  If you do any of these things listed, please think about how you are making the server feel and how this is making you look to others.  Being kind and considerate can make the dining experience much more pleasant.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike..

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Heeeeellooooo out there!  I am so excited that it is finally time for GOBA again.  It is the Great Ohio Bicycle Adventure and this will be my second year participating in the ride.  Last year I told myself I would never do it again and here I am a year later packing for the trip… who knows. 

It really is a blast though, it’s just a lot of work.  2,000-3,000 bicyclists ride across Ohio to arrive at five or six different cities.  This year the route is going to be outside of Columbus.  We will be camping in Kenton, Marion, Delaware, London, and Bellefontaine.  I have never been to any of these Ohio cities so I’m excited to see what they have to offer.  Our luggage and tents get transported by couple giant semi-trucks and the trucks are always waiting for us when we arrive to the new city. 

We try to set up our tent in some shade since we ride in the sun all morning and then we head out into the city to do some exploring and site-seeing.   We go to bed pretty early each night because we wake up around 6 a.m. to pack up our stuff and head out on our bikes to the next city.

We bike an average of 55 miles per day.  Each year the ride alternates between flat and hilly and this year is a flat year.  I have mixed feelings about which one is my favorite because the hilly rides are sooo hard because some of the “hills” stretch for a mile or two and you feel like you’re never going to get to the top.   Then again, I like the hilly years because the downhills are awesome and give everyone an opportunity to coast and let the wheels do the work for a few minutes.  This year is flat so we will be pedaling the entire time.  They both create challenges and I’m excited to see how hard this one will be.

It’s such an awesome site to see though, all of the luggage laying on the ground waiting for us and all of the tents set up each night.  Here’s a few pictures from last year’s trip. 

Above is a shot of some of the tents set up.

Here’s a picture of all of the luggage waiting for the riders to pick it up.

We stop in cities along the way to have a snack or to get lunch and the people are always so nice.  It might be a church group that puts food together for us, a firestation, or just a random group of people that wanted to be a part of the tour. 

There’s always cute little signs in the towns too that say “Welcome GOBA Riders” and stuff like that.  It’s just such a cool experience and I’m glad I gave in and decided to do it for the second year. 

I’d say the worst part about the trip is that the only bathrooms are port-a-pots..which I don’t enjoy very much and the only showers are inside semi-trucks.  I know that probably sounds extremely weird but the showers actually aren’t that bad.  It just takes some getting used to and some trust that the truck won’t drive away while you’re mid-shower. 

Last year I called into WRMU once with an update and my station manager asked if I could do it again this year.  I told him I’d love to, so I’ll be calling in with updates a few times throughout our trip.  I’ll also be tweeting so you can follow me @shannonbrys3 if you’d like to read where we’re at and see what we’re up to! 

I just listened to my podcast from last year a few minutes ago and it made me happy to reminisce and think of last year’s trip.  If you’d like to listen to it you can go to http://www.mountunion.edu/wrmu-podcasts and scroll down until you see “Great Ohio Bike Adventure With WRMU’s Shannon Brys podcast”.

My podcasts from this year’s trip should also be available online after this trip is over. 🙂

ahhhhh I’m so excited.  I just need to figure out what to pack this year! It looks like the weather is going to be high 80s/low 90s all next week so it’s gonna be a hot one but I’d rather it be hot than rainy!!

Here’s the website for GOBA if you’d like to read more about it (if I didn’t give you enough info! 🙂  ) http://goba.com/

Hope everyone is having a fantastic summer.   I’ll write another post when I get back from the bike trip!

I’m a master at rambling.

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Rain, rain, go awaaaayyyyy, please?  Ugh. I can’t wait to be able to go to the beach!  It’s been nice a few times and I’ve got in a couple good bike rides and runs around the city 🙂  The Great Ohio Bicycle Adventure is just about a month away and I need to get some miles on my bike so I’m ready!

As I mentioned briefly in my last post, I started at the Winking Lizard Tavern this summer as a server.  I started the day after I moved home and training was an extensive process.  It lasted 9 days and I had sooo many tests to take!  The process did really work though, I learned the menu, became more comfortable with serving alcohol and am now really comfortable with the resturant.  Some parts of the process seemed a little slow just because I’ve been serving for the past five years.  I’ve worked at Bob Evans and I love people so I am extremely confident with my serving skills.  During my training I had to follow servers for a few days and it seemed weird to me to follow them to see how they greet the table, bring out drinks, clear the table, etc., because I’ve done all of that for years. 

However, obviously at Bob Evans, we don’t serve alcohol so that was a huge change for me to get to know how that whole process works.  At the Lizard we have over 250 beers, a list of wines, and a ton of liquor.  It’s so fun at this resturant though.  There are TVs everywhere which createse a fun atmosphere and people are usually excited about a game or in the resturant to celebrate some other occasion. 

I started on my own last night and it was truly a blast.  I had super nice customers and no problems. 🙂  At the Lizard, we have this thing called the “World Tour of Beer” and basically it is a contest to reach 100 beers.  We have about 200 beers on the tour that they can choose from and they are from all around the world.  The  “tourists” can start the tour whenever they’d like and they have until the end of the year to finish the tour.  They get prizes for reaching 50 beers and then a prize at the end when they reach 100, not to mention there’s a couple events throughout the tour that they are allowed to attend if they are a part of the tour.  Annnnywaaay, hope you’re not falling asleep after my description, I swear it is a really fun experience, but I had one of my customers finish the tour last night!

This means that we have to say their name over the loud speaker and direct everyone’s attention to them in order to get them to help in congratulating the finishing person.  Then we have to give them their prize and send them on their way. 🙂  It was fun that I got to experience that on my first day! 🙂

After work boyfriend came out to visit and we went out for dinner and drinks and sat outside! It was a little chilly because it had rained all night but I’m just so excited for summer that I wanted to be outside.

My second day at work was today and it was actually not as good as my first day.  I didn’t have any mistakes or problems but one of my tables was a party so they took up two of my tables and sat there for like 3 hours.  o.m.g.  And it’s not like they ran up their bill from sitting there that long; they were done, and just sitting there chatting and taking up my two tables.  😦  So I was a little sad because I missed out on a bunch of tables but that’s just one of the things every server in the world has to put up with. 

I work a double tomorrow and I’m excited to see how that goes. 

Sorry if this was a boring post about work.  I wanted to vent about how it’s been going and if you can’t tell, I really like my new job.  I’m hoping it will make me the money I need this summer. 🙂

Only one more semester of school to pay for.. how exciting is that?! Then comes my new place, rent, and all the bills that go along with that.  But I can’t wait.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend. Do your sun dances to make the rain go away!! 🙂